Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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