So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
