Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
