the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
