I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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