OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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