Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
