dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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