One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
