Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
