chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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