Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
