The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
