Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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