Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
