you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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