you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
