That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
