Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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