all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
