she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
