Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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