We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
MIDGETS
????
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
