Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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