Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
