I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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