Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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