he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
