the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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