i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
