Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
