After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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