ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
