I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
