Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Its about making memories worth repressing
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
