Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
