just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
