I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
