they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
