I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
where are my eyebrows?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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