once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize