hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
