Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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