Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
