Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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