thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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