Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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