Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
