guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dick very happy bro
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
