why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
