Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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