Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I cannot find my penis.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
