So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize