Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
