Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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