the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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