i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize