Christians are straight up FREAKS
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
