Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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